I'm in a bad place today.
Yesterday I found out that some swabs my OB did at my follow-up appointment came back showing that I have an infection. I don't know if I still have the same infection that caused my water to break, or if it's something new that grew once the antibiotics kicked out all of the bacteria in my body, good and bad. I've read that antibiotics can sometimes cause more harm by killing off even the good bacteria, which allows the bad guys to flourish if they get in there.
I'm heartbroken. I'm fearful. I just can't do any more bad news. It has been a long six weeks.
I thought we were going to be moving forward at this point. Now I don't know if we'll ever be able to have another baby again and I'm sick to my stomach over it.
The game plan is for me to be on antibiotics for 10 days. After the 10 days, I'll go back for another swab test. If it's negative for infection we'll move forward with a frozen embryo transfer next month. If it comes back positive, that transfer will obviously be on hold, but my bigger fear at that point is that this infection might be too big to get rid of. And I don't know what happens next if that's the case.
If you have time to pray, please lift me up. Please pray that God will remove the infection from my body and prevent recurrences. I just want to be healed. Losing Chase was bad enough, now I'm losing my health. What more can I lose without losing my sanity as well?
Like I said, I'm in a bad place right now.
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4 comments:
Elsie, we'll be praying for sure. I'm so sorry you got this news, but I will pray that you will be strengthened with the same faith that allowed you to let go of Chase knowing the Father's plan is good and perfect. In this too, He will show Himself faithful to you. The fear and anxiety you are feeling are because the enemy wants to get in and destroy your faith, they're not from the Lord... He is with you will give you peace that surpasses understanding.
Elsie - they are exactly right. The devil will use whatever he can to get a hold on you - tell him to get away! The physical part of healing from all of this is a lot more difficult than it seems it should be. I think all of us have found that one hard thing after another happens after our losses. Keep your eyes on Him and "be still and know that I am God". He's got you in His hands - I will be praying for your healing.
Lots of love,
Kara
I'm so sorry you've gotten more bad news. I will definately be praying that God will heal you completely and allow you to move forward. You're in His hands!
We are praying here- now even more then before! God will somehow give you the strength you need- He always does....
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