I've done it. I've started working. It's perfect though because I can work as little or as much as I want...I've become a freelance writer! I just finished my first job and I've already landed a second one that may be more long-term if it works out well. It's perfect because I can take on as much or as little as fits my schedule and I can work when Aiden sleeps.
I have found, that since I've started working I'm depressed less during the day, but on two occasions now I have had nights where I dream that I am mourning Chase the entire night. I wake up crying. I suppose that's my body's way of grieving. And on Sunday I woke up to this crushing grief. I couldn't even go to church because church makes me cry anyway, and I didn't think I wanted to show up at the door already crying. So I stayed home. But the days, for the most part have gotten better. It is getting a little rougher as my estimated due date approaches (August 26), so I do covet your prayers for that.
And also, I want to mention my friend Sarah to you all. She reads here and has been a huge support to me during this loss (she has lost two little ones herself). Her little boy is trying to come early. I believe she is around 32 weeks right now, so just pray that he stays snug for a little while longer.
Alright my friends, thanks for checking in again. I know it's been awhile since I've posted, mainly because I've been trying to kick off this freelance business of mine and also because thankfully, the depression has eased so much for me during the waking hours. Love you all!
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2 comments:
We are, and will continue for probably forever, praying for you! The whole forever part is because you are such a dear friend! You have lost a little piece of your heart- and it will always need a little bit of prayer. I know how sad August will be for you- I still have a hard time the end of every June. It will get better and the pain will ease away- but it will never be totally gone. At least I know that it was, and still is, part of God's plan. I love you and will keep praying for you!!
I'm keeping you in my thoughts - I know those weeks leading up to your due date can be pretty rough. The good thing is that there is peace on the other side. May the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine on you and give you peace. Congrats on the new job!
Kara
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