Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wednesdays

This used to be my favorite day of the week. Aiden and I would go to Bible study and afterwards we'd go out to eat with my friend and her two kids. Then we'd come home for late naps and soon after we woke up Daddy would be home. It was the best day of the week.

Now I hate Wednesdays. 3 weeks ago today we lost Chase. 2 weeks ago today we buried him. I'm beginning to realize that Wednesdays are bad days. I wake up weepy. I feel on the verge of crying all day long and I spend the day trying to function for Aiden's sake. It's a day when I just pray for the strength to make it from one minute to the next without weeping.

I didn't realize it would be like this. In fact, when I first was grieving I didn't even know what day it was and all of the hospital days ran together for me, so I had to really think about the order of things to figure out which day was which. But now that my mind isn't clouded with drugs, I have it all straight. Wednesday is not good to me.

5 comments:

The Perreca Family said...

It's marked on my calendar to pray extra for you on Tue night and all day Wed. Thank you for sharing these deep and oh-so-personal struggles you are experiencing.

Elsie Hall said...

No, thank you for praying. I know it's what carries me through the days!

The G's said...

Thank you so much for sharing your journey and grieving with us. Once again, I was in tears tonight as a friend and can't imagine what you are going through as a mother. You are in my thoughts and prayers. -Amanda

Anonymous said...

Yes, Elsie... thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. This has been so therapeutic for me, as well. Chase has made me aware of just how "real" each of the babies I've lost were/are. I've never really dealt with my emotions and feelings about my m/c at age 16 (14-16 wks PG). It's something I've swept under the rug all these years, and there have been days over the past decade+ that I wonder about that son or daughter I'll meet in heaven some day. I guess you can say I never really grieved, and I hope you don't mind me saying... that Chase's life has opened up those wounds and I feel *real* healing beginning now. God is so good.

((HUGS))

Elsie Hall said...

Melanie-You know that if Chase's death is helping my dear friend in ANY way, that it makes my heart glad. Thank you for sharing that with me. ((HUGS)) I love you!